DKM Hockey Podcast

Thursday, October 9, 2014

DKM Hockey Podcast: Opening Face-Off 2014-15


John and Morgan welcome Jordan Mills to the show as Joe is on the IR while he battles a throat infection.  In the first segment the boys talk about the banged up CBJ, Ryan Johansen, and are surprised they forgot about the Scott Hartnell trade.  In segment two the boys talk about what they think the team will do this season.  In the last stanza we pick the mind of the CBJ's most loyal fan in an episode of Being John Kempovich.


Check out this episode!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

DKM Hockey Podcast: Power Hour 2014


Here it is ladies and gentlemen, a podcast episode with no redeeming value.  This episode is bad.  If you like long, drawn out, repetitive, drawn out long things that are repetitive and long, this podcast is for you.  If you don't like long repetitive things and prefer books with large pictures and few words, this podcast is not for you.  Morgan and John are completely drunk in this power hour episode.  They review the Ryan Johansen contract situation again in the first segment.  They debut the Bobby Mac Tribute song "Air Space Oddity" and unleash some new CBJ Garbage Pail Kids in the second segment.  And in the third segment Morgan presents the first installment of CBJ Drunken History.  HE IS HAMMERED.  Enjoy and #SeeYouAtCannonfest


Check out this episode!

Monday, July 7, 2014

DKM Hockey Podcast: Free Agency Frenzy 2014


In a less than hilarious two man episode, John and Morgan bring you the latest from July 2nd episode featuring the aftermath of the Free Agency Frenzy.  In segment one the dynamic duo discuss the Hartnell/Umberger trade.  In segment two, the boys break down Restricted Free Agency and the Johansen situation.  In segment three, the boys bask in their awesomeness and see how their off season predictions have gone thus far.  They also go over some current event type things.  Man, they need Joe back as host ASAP.


Check out this episode!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Lady Bling Award - ballot by Danielle Browne



We are proud to present the third and final ballot for the 2014 Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey. Our second voter is Danielle Brown known colloquially as @frickindannie from Straight Jackets. The Lady Bling Award is an annual award voted on by female bloggers. Each blogger is to vote for three players awarding each player with either a 3rd place, 2nd place, or 1st place vote. A third place vote is worth 5 points, second worth 7 points, and a first place vote is worth 10 points. We then tallied the votes and declared a winner based on the points system.

Monday, June 9, 2014

The Lady Bling Award - ballot by Lindsay Wilson



We are proud to present the second ballot for the 2014 Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey. Our second voter is Lindsay Wilson of Union and Blue.  The Lady Bling Award is an annual award voted on by female bloggers. Each blogger is to vote for three players awarding each player with either a 3rd place, 2nd place, or 1st place vote. A third place vote is worth 5 points, second worth 7 points, and a first place vote is worth 10 points. We then tallied the votes and declared a winner based on the points system.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

The Lady Bling Award - ballot by Elain Schifcliff



We are proud to present the first ballot for the 2014 Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey.  Our first voter is Elaine Schircliff of Faceoff violation  The Lady Bling Award is an annual award voted on by female bloggers. Each blogger is to vote for three players awarding each player with either a 3rd place, 2nd place, or 1st place vote. A third place vote is worth 5 points, second worth 7 points, and a first place vote is worth 10 points. We then tallied the votes and declared a winner based on the points system.

Those voting on the Lady Bling must evaluate each player based upon the following three criteria:

Statistical Relevance - the player exhibits exceptional ability that can be qualified by some sort of verifiable statistical analysis.


Tactile Intangibles - demonstrates hockey competency without the puck and whose unique individual personality defines the team.


The Quintessential Man - a player who carries themselves as a professional, gives back to the community, or looks hawt doing it.
Got it? Good.
The first ballot we are releasing is from Elaine Schircliff of Face-Off Violation.

Third Place (5 pts)
Cam Atkinson
Statistical Relevance
Atkinson led the team in goals (7) in the month of January.
Tactile Intangibles
Life was a little rough for Atkinson around trade deadline. Not only did his buddy, Marian Gaborik, get traded but Atkinson was scratched for a few games. Instead of getting in a funk or asking to be traded, Atkinson came out swinging. Between his speed and feisty play, Atkinson was a force to be reckoned with in the playoffs.
The Quintessential Man
If we were basing the Lady Bling based solely on this category Cam Atkinson would have won because of his kind act to fans who were camping outside of Nationwide Arena to buy playoff tickets.
Second Place (7 pts)
Ryan Johansen
Statistical Relevance
During the regular season Joey led the team in points (63) and goals (33). He currently is one of three players in Blue Jackets history to score at least 30 goals in one season.
Tactile Intangibles
Just like Johnson he leaves his friendships at the door. When the Jackets played in New York this season Joey got in Dorse’s face multiple times. Dorse and Joey were once roommates in Columbus. When he’s on the ice it’s about the game and friendships don’t matter. Also, he’s usually the guy that cleans up all the pucks and laughs when he drops a bucket of them at training camp.
The Quintessential Man
Off the ice: The way Joey interacts with the Heroes for the Black Tie Affair makes every man and woman’s heart swoon.
On the ice: Filthy dangles for days. http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/console?id=530961
First Place (10 Points)
Jack Johnson
Jack Johnson is the Teddy Roosevelt of the Jackets. He’s a vocally quiet leader but his presence is huge both on and off the ice. On a captain-less team Johnson surely stuck out as a leader.
Statistical Relevance
During the playoffs Johnson led the team in points (7) and goals (3). He may have had a rough start to the season but pulled it together when the team needed him the most.
Tactile Intangibles
After getting left off the 2014 Olympic roster Johnson used his feelings of frustration in a constructive manner. He didn’t go on every radio show and slam his current coach. He didn’t give scathing interviews to journalists. Instead, Johnson put his all into the game and helped catapult the Jackets into the Stanley Cup Playoffs. While in the playoffs he went into beast mode. Johnson knocked his close friend, Sidney Crosby, around like a rag doll and made sure Crosby didn’t get anywhere near the puck.
The Quintessential Man
Johnson does a lot of service work but keeps it to himself. He believes it’s a private, personal experience that doesn’t need to be broadcasted about the world. That’s quite the admirable quality in a person, especially a famous athlete.
Speaking of famous Jack Johnsons, how can you not love the fact that he trolls the fans of the singer Jack Johnson on twitter?
And there you have it folks, the first of three ballots for this season's Lady Bling Award. We will be presenting the next ballot on Saturday morning before Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final
Lady Bling1st2nd3rdTotal
Jack Johnson10 10
Ryan Johansen 7 7
Cam Atkinson 55

About the author in her words: Hey guys!I grew up in Chicago, Illinois/Stow, Ohio and currently reside in Columbus. I popped out of the womb loving hockey. My first love was the Blackhawks until the Blue Jackets stole my heart. By day I’m the Business Development Assistant at USI Affinity (usiaffinity.com). By night I’m the communications intern of the Ohio AAA Blue Jackets (aaabluejackets.com). I also write for Chattin Bout Jackets (www.faceoffviolation.com/chattinboutjackets). In my spare time I sing at weddings. So if you need an inexpensive wedding singer who loves hockey just as much as you do I’m your girl.

Friday, June 6, 2014

DKM Hockey casts a Police Academy sequel

We miss Blue Jackets Hockey.  This offseason is confusing to us.  We don't know diddly pooh about superhero movies, snap chatting, or the video games that all you crazy kids are playing.  What we do know is 80's and 90's pop culture along with some hockey stuff.  In a random twitter coversation with @J_Mart77 and @Pfefferfeff we joked about casting a Police Academy movie with personalities form the CBJ twittersphere.  It got our wheels turning and we thought of a little game of who would play whom.  We thought of all the people we interact with on twitter and cast them in an upcoming Police Academy sequel.  So we present to you the cast of the upcoming  comedy hit:  Police Academy: The Fifth Line

PS - It would be awesome if Horton's Horde want's to hammer out a movie poster for this...

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Deep Thoughts by CBJ Nation: 2014 Stanley Cup Finals

Conflicted as a Columbus Blue Jackets fan on how to watch the 2014 Stanley Cup Final?  Well, TJ Nocar of CBJ Nation asked if he could post his thoughts on the DKM Blog.  Gladly, we agreed.  Here are Deep Thoughts from the mind of the man behind @CBJ_Nation:

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey

The first annual Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey
 
Special thanks to Ashley Ware for th e logo!!

We at DKM are proud to present the first annual Lady Bling Award.  Those of you familiar with the DKM crew know that we are all about cross-mojinating with the other social media peeps that focus on the Columbus Blue Jackets.  We are a light-hearted bunch that choose to kick back and have fun being fans of hockey and the CBJ.  In keeping with our lighthearted, sometimes inebriated, and often snarky motif, we wanted to create an NHL Award while engaging the female contributors of the blogging community.  We hope we've captured the spirit of what we intended with the Lady Bling Award.

The Lad Bling Award is an annual award voted on by female bloggers.  Each of our three volunteer bloggers is to vote for three players awarding each player with either a 3rd place, 2nd place, or 1st place vote.  A third place vote is worth 5 points, second worth 7 points, and a first place vote is worth 10 points.   We then tallied the votes and declared a winner based on the points system.

Those voting on the Lady Bling must evaluate each player based upon the following three criteria:

Statistical Relevance - the player exhibits exceptional ability that can be qualified by some sort of verifiable statistical analysis. 


Tactile Intangibles - demonstrates hockey competency without the puck and whose unique individual personality helps defines the team.


The Quintessential Man - a player who carries themselves as a professional, gives back to the community, or looks hawt doing it.
 
Got it?  Good. 
 
We will be releasing the first ballot before Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final.  The second ballot before Game 3.  The final ballot will be posted before Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Final.  Stay tuned for what is sure to be a great award!!


 
 


Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey #CBJ



 
The annual NHL Awards.  In an era of advancing our ideology and casting aside stereotypes, hockey fans today cling to awards named for a bunch of dudes who walked the earth decades ago.  In keeping up with trends, the NHL modernizes an award every now and then - like renaming the Lester B. Pearson Award to the Ted Lindsay Award.  I guess bloggers below the Mason Dixon line were confused as to why an NHL award was named after an airport in Toronto.  People who have no clue can “google” Ted Lindsay with the search results yielding much less confusion.  We here at DKM Hockey are looking to bring the NHL awards into the 21st century.  As our first foray into this endeavor, we present the hockey world with the first annual Lady Bling Award.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Blue Jackets Anagram Roster

Inspired by The Royal Half's anagram roster, we have created one for the Columbus Blue Jackets, or as they are newly renamed, the Cumulus Bleak Objects.  Apparently, you can't anagram "Nikitin Nikitin" into anything.


The Cumulus Bleak Objects - ROSTER

7
John JockanS "A"
6' 1"
238
Jan 13, 1987
27
Indianapolis, IN, USA
27
Mary Rayrun
6' 1"
208
Sep 27, 1993
20
Regina, SK, CAN
6
6' 4"
223
Jun 16, 1986
27
Omsk, RUS
47
Turd Platoon
6' 3"
222
Mar 13, 1990
24
Kingsville, ON, CAN
58
Dads radviva
6' 2"
219
Oct 22, 1990
23
St. Hyacinthe, QC, CAN
15
Zilch Stunk
6' 1"
203
Aug 25, 1982
31
Strasbourg, SK, CAN
51
Nudity forte
6' 2"
212
Jul 19, 1983
30
Izhevsk, RUS
21
Jasmine sew-kiwis
5' 11"
203
Feb 21, 1984
30
Canton, MI, USA

 

42
Marina motives
6' 4"
198
May 24, 1988
25
Yaroslavl, RUS
13
Satanic Monk
5' 8"
174
Jun 5, 1989
24
Riverside, CT, USA
40
Drab jello "A"
6' 3"
214
May 13, 1986
27
Charlotte, NC, USA
11
Carl Vatmett
5' 11"
187
Dec 24, 1989
24
Brandon, MB, CAN
14
Beau LAMcoke
6' 1"
202
Feb 18, 1986
28
Meadow Lake, SK, CAN
17
Sordid bunny-bank "A"
6' 2"
216
Apr 29, 1986
28
Anchorage, AK, USA
71
LOCKING INFO
6' 0"
210
Oct 31, 1987
26
Buffalo, NY, USA
23
Fart tinmatt
6' 0"
205
Jan 3, 1988
26
Edmonton, AB, CAN
8
Hoho tarntann
6' 2"
229
May 29, 1985
28
Welland, ON, CAN
38
Boner Jeonne
6' 2"
208
Jun 15, 1993
20
Dorchester, ON, CAN
19
Johnny arenas
6' 3"
223
Jul 31, 1992
21
Vancouver, BC, CAN
55
Mute Stalker "A"
5' 10"
199
Feb 4, 1985
29
Elk Point, AB, CAN
24
Mike Crazed knee
5' 11"
181
Jun 11, 1981
32
Sudbury, ON, CAN
26
Poop cryter
6' 0"
185
Jul 25, 1989
24
Grosse Pointe Woods, MI, USA
18
Berm jurrgen
6' 2"
214
May 3, 1982
32
Pittsburgh, PA, USA

 

72
BOOBY KISSVERGER
6' 2"
182
Sep 20, 1988
25
Novokuznetsk, RUS
31
Scrunchy timeline
6' 3"
205
May 23, 1983
30
London, ON, CAN



Head Coach : Didst Orchard
General Manager: Karaoke Ninja Elm