DKM Hockey Podcast

Friday, February 22, 2013

DKM Hockey Podcast: Episode 7

In Episode 7 John, Morgan, and Joe pretty much go unscripted for this episode, well more than usual.  But tonight has some special features. 

During the opening segment the boys revel in the hiring of Jarmo Kekalainen as the Blue Jackets new General Manager.  The second segment starts at 11:50 when the boys review the week that was in Blue Jackets hockey.  The third segment of the show at 30:40 brings the world broadcast debut of Morgan Langworthy's parody of the Radiohead classic, "Fake Plastic Trees" rewritten as "Fake Plastic Blue Jackets."  Say what you will about his singer/songwriter talents, Joe Reader nails it on the guitar.  Then, for the final segment the boys play a little "WWJD - What Would Jarmo Do?"  Braclets coming soon.  You can email the podcast at for any questions, comments, or concerns.

Check out this episode!

And for those of you asking, here are the lyrics to "Fake Plastic Blue Jackets"

Her Blue Jackets watering can
From her half season ticket plan
For a playoff chance
That she brought from John Davidson
In a town full of buckeyes plans
To get rid of its skill

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

She tweets with a broken fan
A cracked, always angry fan
Who just grumbles and trolls
He used to have a Nash jersey
Now he leaves the game way early
But why can’t they always win

It wears him out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears him out

They shoot like the real thing
They skate like the real thing
My Blue Jackets love
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If they’d just made a run

It wears Kemp out, it wears Kemp out
It wears Kemp out, it wears Kemp out

If you could be the team we wanted
If you could be the team we wanted

All the time
All the time...

CBJ Fan Satisfaction Survey: February 21, 2013

Blue Jackets 3, Red Wings 2

Completed By: Joe Reader (@osujoe)

Instructions: Respond to each question using a 1-5 scale, where "1" is most negative and "5" is most positive. Scale point labels are not assigned ahead of time, but it is strongly encouraged they be provided based on the respondent's mood and sense of humor. Additional comments are welcome to provide context to your answers.

1. Overall, how satisfied are you with the Blue Jackets' game against DETROIT?

Response: 4  = "A 15th place team can't get a '5' from me"

Comments: Any win against Detroit is a good win in my book, given that I loathe everything about that state up north. With "Detoilet" being a division rival and historical hockey powerhouse, our performance against them is always something of a litmus test for our overall standing as a franchise. This one was a much-needed road victory, considering the Jackets had lost six in a row away from Nationwide Arena (including their last three games out west). In fact, this represented only the Blue Jackets' second road victory of the season, with the first coming via an opening night shootout in Nashville. This game had some ups (RJ Umberger's power play goal, some fantastic saves by Bobrovsky) and some downs (two goals in the first 2:40, Artem Anisimov being carted out on a strecher); and ultimately Vinny Prospal delivered the exciting finish: a gorgeous spinning backhand goal with 25 seconds remaining.

2. Considering your expectations going into the Blue Jackets' game against DETROIT, how satisfied are you with the outcome?

Response: 3 = "You play to win the game" (with apologies to Herm Edwards)

Comments: Given how atrocious the Blue Jackets have been at times this season, it's reasonable to think that maybe I should temper my expectations; but yesterday's game was looking pretty winnable before the teams took the ice. The "mighty" Red Wings were riding a four-game losing streak of their own, and have a power play that you could describe as "Jackets bad." According to, they're now third-worst in the league with a 12.8% power play percentage, and are sitting just above Columbus at fourth place in the Central Division. This quite simply isn't as good of a Detroit team as what we've seen in the past.

3. Based on the Blue Jackets' game against DETROIT, how excited are you to watch more Blue Jacket hockey games in the future?

Response: 3 = "Can we perhaps skip the opening few minutes?"

Comments: The CBJ have two more Central Division road games this weekend, and against better competition than they saw yesterday. They will play Saturday in St. Louis, and then again Sunday in Chicago. The Blues have cooled-off since their hot 6-1 start (including a 4-1 thumping of Columbus), but still find themselves in fifth place overall in the Western Conference. Chicago shot out of the gates like a bat out of Hades, and hasn't looked back since....they have an NHL record-tying 16 wins and no regulation losses at this point, and have a chance to hold that record alone by the time the Jackets arrive in the Windy City. Even more impressive, the Hawks have done that with 10 of their first 12 games on the road. The last time the Jackets played on consecutive nights -- last Friday and Saturday vs. the Kings and Coyotes -- Coach Todd Richards mentioned that he was having a hard time finding guys with wind left at the end of game two. Unless there have been some monumental strides in conditioning and in playing full 60-minute hockey games, I expect we'll be welcoming home a team that has slid even further into the Western Conference basement.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Backstage Pass at Nationwide

I had an opportunity to take part in an interesting event following the Blue Jackets’ 4-2 win over the Detroit Red Wings on February 2, a post-game “backstage pass” to meet the team. Even better, I was able to bring my 13-year-old son Spencer along for the event. I remember being a kid Spencer’s age once upon a time and the hero-worship that went along with following my favorite team, the Denver Broncos. Spencer’s fanhood of the Jackets is akin to my childhood love of the Broncos, and I had hopes of this being something we’d remember fondly together for a long time to come.

At the end of the game, Spencer and I were shuffled into a waiting area with around 20 other season ticket holders, and eventually led through a doorway into the underbelly of Nationwide Arena. Armed with a panoramic picture of the arena ice – our best bet from the Blueline store, we decided, for an autographable item – a sharpie and an iPhone camera, we were off in search of our hockey heroes. Along the walk to the corral outside the players’ locker room exit, we encountered former player (and current Development Coach) Tyler Wright. Tyler was happy to oblige our request for his autograph.…and just like that, the $25 I spent on the panoramic photo seemed worthwhile.

Once we reached the locker room exit and set up our operation – I would hold the picture, Spencer would take the pictures and we would tag-team the removal of the Sharpie lid – it seemed like we waited idly forever, wondering if we’d get to meet any players at all. Cam Atkinson and Matt Calvert, neither of whom had played in the game due to injuries, stood outside the locker room socializing with a group of people; but eventually made an abrupt exit. After about an hour had passed since the game, and just when we were ready to give up hope and call it a night, Atkinson and Calvert returned to sign autographs for the fans who remained (which was approximately all of us).

Members of the CBJ signing our picture
(Photo: Spencer Reader)
Slowly over the course of the next hour, more of the Blue Jacket players began making their way out of the locker room. MacKenzie, Audy-Marchessault, Savard, Tyutin, Johnson, Boll, Dorsett, Foligno, Dubinsky. Every one of these guys – some alone, some together, some with their families, some carrying their post-game sushi meal in a takeout box – took the time to sign autographs and pose for pictures with all of the fans in attendance. They were friendly, they smiled and said thank you at the well-wishes from the adoring fan base and they gave freely of their time late on a Saturday night after an exhausting hockey game.

The most special point of the evening occurred when Spencer’s personal favorite player RJ Umberger emerged from the locker room. He thanked Spence and gave a him little manly shoulder touch for being a fan and proudly wearing his Umberger replica jersey, and Spencer reacted...well, about like a young Joey Reader would’ve reacted if John Elway had done the same. He bounced around giddily for a moment, proclaiming that his Umby-touched jackets would never be washed, and almost tripped over himself trying to get a picture of himself with RJ in the background. 
Spencer swooning in front of his favorite hockey
player, RJ Umberger (Photo: Joe Reader)
The Blue Jackets seemed in these moments less like super heroes and more like regular guys….humble and a little awkward and grateful for the support. These weren’t the guys that cause me to scream and curse at my television several nights a week, the ones who need to learn to pass and to score and to not turn the puck over in the defensive zone. They were simply the guys I admire for putting on the CBJ uniform, for competing on the ice and for giving the hockey fans of Columbus the joy of watching our team play the game we love.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

DKM Hockey Podcast: Episode 6

The boys bring you four glorious segments in Episode 6: 

1. They open with some big news, Scott Howson is relieved of duties.

2. At 12:00 of the show we bring you another episode of Being John Kempovich - it's pretty much our best segment ever. 

3. At 29:45 we review some of the more notable trades of the Howson tenure in "Grade the Trade" and we learn that John lies to his children. 

4. At 54:30 we review the week that was and the road trip that will be.  If you're fan enough to listen to the entire show, take a drink every time someone says the name "Steve" and then call for a cab ride home.

Here is a cliop of the Anaheim Duck's mascot's infamous wipe out that brings Morgan to tears.  It was from the 1995 home opener.  We're getting old.


Here is the link to the "I am better than you kids" post that we elude to on the show.  It's a little vulgar.  I don't know if this the original author as this was an email favorite over a decade ago...

Steve Wisniewsky lays on the ice...

Check out this episode!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

DKM Hockey Podcast: Episode 5

John is AWOL as Joe and Morgan return for another informative episode following a week of Blue Jackets woes.  It's Groundhog Day (or, as we like to call it "Groundhogs" Day)Joe and Morgan break down the previous three games. Joe assumes the role of remix master "DJ Joe" and puts some of the highlights from each game to its own song.  The boys do their best to keep John in their thoughts and jokes.  WARNING: This podcast contains the music of Enya. 

Check out this episode!