I have decided to turn this essay into a three part post. It is far too long to hold people’s attention, especially given the obscure references. So I give you Part Two.
The Secret Life of Football City
|I really don't understand what he's trying to say in this blog.|
BOOM! The canon explodes and AC/DC snaps the fans from their daydream. Columbus finally scored, the score is 4-1 with the Jackets on the losing end. As a player, there’s not much to celebrate down 3 goals and being 11 points out of 29th place, but some kid from Saskatchewan making the league minimum just scored his 12th NHL point, so they find something to hug about. They boo Rick Nash because he doen't cheer like it's the OT game winner for the Coup de Stanley. Wishing for somthing good after 11 years, The fans at home buy into one of the two color commentators with no pro hockey playing experience spouting that despite the score, there's hope. There’s hope, because if we can play like this every game next year, there will be a good chance that there is a 60% chance of there being NHL playoffs in Columbus next spring. Ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa...
|This is not how a 30th place team should celebrate their only goal in a 4-1 loss.|
90 seconds later, after a player in an away jersey lazily skates in behind two Blue Jackets defensemen and scoops up a huge rebound to make it 5-1, Blue Jackets fans are faced brought back to cold hard reality. Their team sucks from top to bottom. $70 a ticket for a 26% chance that you'll see the Blue Jackets win. It was not so much that Walter Mitty was always daydreaming, it was that he never completed the acts of fantasy he dreamt about. What a lot of people miss about the stories of Walter Mitty was often the it was bitter reality that interrupted his daydreams. No matter where his thoughts took him, Walter Mitty's fanciful daydreams where always ended by starkness of reality. Ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa.
|The CBJ and the NHL Draft Lottery, an April Tradition like no other.|
|Clearly, this is Steve Mason's fault.|
And when I finish reading Walter Mitty, I am left with one conclusion as a fan - Walter Mitty was the only thing making Walter Mitty daydream. Want something good to root for as a fan? Tired of sucking? Demand something good to root for as a fan. I'm not talking about lame 250 people protests standing outside the arena with cardboard signs wearing team sweaters and manifesting suppressed memories in the form of fan embarrassement. I'm talking about changing the landscape of the team that sucks. Example: As long as the Blue Jackets have the sucky deal with Nationwide Arena, they are always going to need a CBJ President who has to focus on finding creative ways to make money rather than focusing on how to position the Blue Jackets competitively as an NHL franchise. In turn, they'll need entry level "yes Men" as GMs, Coaches, Scouts, etc etc.
|Can't find the CBJ game on the radio?|
The county owns Nationwide Arena now. Dig up those old "Forward Together" cause-heads and petition the county to restructure the team's agreement with the arena. Sure, it means convincing the only blue county in a red state to alter the 10-12 million dollar a year revenue gold mine it will soon enjoy from the welfare recipient Blue Jackets. (read that last sentance again, maybe twice. Let it sink in. Wow, that sucks). Sadly, don't count on the arena to restructure the deal with the CBJ. If the county can't make it's money back in 5-6 years, even without casino revenue, it doesn't buy the arena in the first place. Don't expect the county to want to restructure the deal without talks about the Blue Jackets relocating Hamilton, ON. Then the county loses out on Arena revenue and income tax revenue from the arena district - certainly a motivating factor. Then again, if BlackBerry doesn't stay relevant, there may be no where for the Blue Jackets to move to. Oh, man, that really sucks. But let's just imagine how awesome it will be if the Blue Jackets do manage to string two winnig seasons in a row together. FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK! Ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa...
|AC/DC: For when you absolutely positively have to clear the dance floor. Accept no substitutes.|
Coming Soon: Reflections of Blue Jackets Society in Literature: Part III - from Longwood With Love.