DKM Hockey Podcast

Saturday, April 28, 2012

CBJ Break-Up Mixed Tape

So, I had the iPod out at work on Friday and hit shuffle on the playlist.  Whether it was fate, whether it was hormones, whether it was really nothing at all, the songs that played were like I was listening to a tape that the Blue Jackets had made for me after a breakup.  To be clear, I'm not breaking up with the Blue Jackets.  However, like any good emotionally torn break up mixed tape, some of these songs reminded me of specific players and instances in CBJ history.  Here is a list of songs I don't recommend you listen to if you're a CBJ fan stuck in an emotional void with your hockey team.

Last Day of Summer - the Cure - Robert Smith wrote this song for hockey players who are now on teams that never make the playoffs.  "It used to be so easy, I never even tried..."

This is how the Columbus Blue Jackets celebrate April.

Fake Plastics Trees - Radiohead - In college this was Spanish Fly for a post-second date make-out marathon.  Now it makes me think of John P McConnell.  The self-loathing majority owner of the Blue Jackets.  "And it wears me out.  It wears me out..."

He died for your Wins.

Mother - Pink Floyd - Oh, Rick Nash.  You want to be the Captain that commands the dressing room, but you're not.  It's not a failure on your part, it's just not the way your wired.  "Mother do you think they'll try to break my balls?"

Nothing about this face ever said, "I"m going to kick your ass if you don't skate hard!"

Mid script PS - the writing and creative process are completely foreign to my wife, who is constantly interrupting me during an 'in the moment' emotional hockey blog to chat about a jewelery party she was at.  I'm blaring songs by the Cure, staring and the computer monitor longingly, and she's wonders why I'm disinterested when she sticks her head in the office every 45 seconds to talke about bedazzlers.  sigh...

Teenager - Deftones - Deftones B-sides are some of the best there are.  Slow and Morose.  This song is very specific to this year's Blue Jackets team.  "The more I scream, the more it seems, Now I'm through with the new you."

Yep, I want to sob like like a little girl with a skinned knee and crush a gallon of Ben an Jerry's when I see this picture.

Lost Cause - Beck - Sea Changes is the best dude breakup album of all time.  Marc Denis, Steve Mason, Mathieu Garon, Frederick Norenna, Pascal LeClaire, Alan York, etc....  "There's too many people you used to know, they see you coming, they see you go..."

This is how other teams prepare for Blue Jackets Goaltending - 15 holes.

Annasthesia - The Cinematic Underground - I look at all the Blue Jackets draft picks and want to cry.  There's nothing this franchise can do for you.  Nothing it can do to help develop you.  Nothing it can do to help you reach your dreams, except trade you.  "Escape.  Disengage."
Going to Boston College on a full ride, but knowing the CBJ own your rights...
If you Leave - Nada Surf - I love this cover of OMD's classic.  But, was this song playing  the moment you learned Rick Nash was willing to waive his no trade clause?  "You always said, 'we still be friends someday.'"

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Twilight Garden - the Cure - It's like Robert Smith purposely writes songs about fans liking horrible hockey teams.   This is a great Cure B-side.  "No one will ever take your place, I'm so lost in you."

Yet, these are 75 dollar seats.

And Finally, the coup de gras of my #CBJ Break Up mixed tape:

The Benny Hill theme song - The Edwin Davids Jazz Band.  Thank you Blue Jackets.  Seriously.  We've been dating for 11 years and this is the last song you put on the break up tape.  Way to rub it in.  Way to remind me of this front office.  Classy. Thanks.

I mean really, am I all that worse than McLean?

There are a few thing I can think of to cheer me up.  The Blue Jackets are such a small part of what I've learned from hockey, the friends I've made through hockey, and the memories I've made from hockey.  But, first hand exposure to pro hockey in Columbus is the Blue Jackets, and so I must suffer them.

Since this is a mixed tape and not an MP3, these songs were omitted:

Gone, Gone, Gone - Miles Davis (this song is awkward, as are the CBJ)
Road to the West - Yoko Kanno (your left alone with your thoughts about playing in the West)
Out of this World - the Cure (I already had too many Cure songs)
Time to Pretent - MGMT - Man, 2001-2005 were electric in this city.  Thanks Lockout.

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