The Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey #CBJ

 

The annual NHL Awards.  In an era of advancing our ideology and casting aside stereotypes, hockey fans today cling to awards named for a bunch of dudes who walked the earth decades ago.  In keeping up with trends, the NHL modernizes an award every now and then - like renaming the Lester B. Pearson Award to the Ted Lindsay Award.  I guess bloggers below the Mason Dixon line were confused as to why an NHL award was named after an airport in Toronto.  People who have no clue can “google” Ted Lindsay with the search results yielding much less confusion.  We here at DKM Hockey are looking to bring the NHL awards into the 21^st century.  As our first foray into this endeavor, we present the hockey world with the first annual Lady Bling Award.

Blue Jackets Anagram Roster

Inspired by The Royal Half's anagram roster, we have created one for the Columbus Blue Jackets, or as they are newly renamed, the Cumulus Bleak Objects.  Apparently, you can't anagram "Nikitin Nikitin" into anything.

The Cumulus Bleak Objects - ROSTER

7	John JockanS "A"	6' 1"	238	Jan 13, 1987	27	Indianapolis, IN, USA
27	Mary Rayrun	6' 1"	208	Sep 27, 1993	20	Regina, SK, CAN
6	Nikita Nikitin	6' 4"	223	Jun 16, 1986	27	Omsk, RUS
47	Turd Platoon	6' 3"	222	Mar 13, 1990	24	Kingsville, ON, CAN
58	Dads radviva	6' 2"	219	Oct 22, 1990	23	St. Hyacinthe, QC, CAN
15	Zilch Stunk	6' 1"	203	Aug 25, 1982	31	Strasbourg, SK, CAN
51	Nudity forte	6' 2"	212	Jul 19, 1983	30	Izhevsk, RUS
21	Jasmine sew-kiwis	5' 11"	203	Feb 21, 1984	30	Canton, MI, USA

 

42	Marina motives	6' 4"	198	May 24, 1988	25	Yaroslavl, RUS
13	Satanic Monk	5' 8"	174	Jun 5, 1989	24	Riverside, CT, USA
40	Drab jello "A"	6' 3"	214	May 13, 1986	27	Charlotte, NC, USA
11	Carl Vatmett	5' 11"	187	Dec 24, 1989	24	Brandon, MB, CAN
14	Beau LAMcoke	6' 1"	202	Feb 18, 1986	28	Meadow Lake, SK, CAN
17	Sordid bunny-bank "A"	6' 2"	216	Apr 29, 1986	28	Anchorage, AK, USA
71	LOCKING INFO	6' 0"	210	Oct 31, 1987	26	Buffalo, NY, USA
23	Fart tinmatt	6' 0"	205	Jan 3, 1988	26	Edmonton, AB, CAN
8	Hoho tarntann	6' 2"	229	May 29, 1985	28	Welland, ON, CAN
38	Boner Jeonne	6' 2"	208	Jun 15, 1993	20	Dorchester, ON, CAN
19	Johnny arenas	6' 3"	223	Jul 31, 1992	21	Vancouver, BC, CAN
55	Mute Stalker "A"	5' 10"	199	Feb 4, 1985	29	Elk Point, AB, CAN
24	Mike Crazed knee	5' 11"	181	Jun 11, 1981	32	Sudbury, ON, CAN
26	Poop cryter	6' 0"	185	Jul 25, 1989	24	Grosse Pointe Woods, MI, USA
18	Berm jurrgen	6' 2"	214	May 3, 1982	32	Pittsburgh, PA, USA

 

72	BOOBY KISSVERGER	6' 2"	182	Sep 20, 1988	25	Novokuznetsk, RUS
31	Scrunchy timeline	6' 3"	205	May 23, 1983	30	London, ON, CAN

Head Coach : Didst Orchard

General Manager: Karaoke Ninja Elm