John, Morgan, and Dan return to the basement to bring you another episode of the best CBJ podcast in the universe. In the first segment the boys talk about playing with 4 defensemen, blowing a 2 goal lead in the 3rd, and Ryan Johansen seeing time on the fourth line. In segment 2, Jarmo reads emotionally charged texts from Joe Reader that chronicles the CBJ's season thus far. In the third period, we bring back the CBJ Magic 8-ball and release a tribute song to Jared Boll.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
DKM Hockey Podcast: Episode 47 #CBJ Drinking game and @Wyshynski
The Distinct Kicking Motion crew is back with the accurately titled episode 47!! Dan, John, and Morgan welcome Gallos from Dark Blue Jacket to the studio. In the first segment the boys discuss the effects of Tortorella and ponder if recording 0 shots in a period is simply just 'score effects.' In the second segment the boys welcome Greg Wyshynski, the editor of Yahoo Sport's "Puck Daddy" blog to talk CBJ, Star Wars, and Hockey on TV. In the third segment the group puts together a multi-faceted CBJ drinking game.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
DKM Hockey Podcast: New Coach Edition
Eight losses in a row mean things are a-changin', and the DKM guys have you covered. We're joined also by Greg May who talks about #sharting, and we fill in a little Mad Lib with the help of one of our favorite new characters!
Thursday, October 15, 2015
DKM Hockey Podcast: Rome is Burning Episode
With the Jackets off to a Ppanic inducing start to the season Dan, Kemp, and Morgan look for answers as to why. In the first period, the boys try to figure out why a bunch of Fraternity-aged men can't string together 60 minutes of solid hockey. In the second segment, Jordan from THE CBJ Artillery joins the show and takes the "So you think your an American Canadian Hipster" Quiz. And in the third segment, John administers his Fast 5 and Dan reads our iTunes reviews in Jarmo's voice.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
DKM Hockey Podcast: Pre-Season Preview! #CBJ @NWAGhost
Dan, Kemp, and Morgan (get it) return to the studio for a preseason preview! The boys discuss roster openings and what the bottom half of the forward roster will look like. As always, the defensemen are an after thought! Dan doesn't think Morgan can rant for 2 minutes about 3-on-3 and boy is he wrong. In the second segment the boys return to the time honored tradition and reveal the person behind the Nationwide Arena Ghost twitter account for the 2014-2015 season. For the third segment, in the spirit of Brandon Saad's injury, the boys share stories of their hockey injuries. Bonus points awarded to those people who can correctly guess the number of freshman year's Morgan had in college.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
DKM Hockey Podcast Episode 46 - WE'RE BACK EDITION!!
Guess who's back in the MFing house! That's right, your most favorite Blue Jackets podcast is back. John and Morgan welcome Dan Parker from the Cannon as a new member of the podcast! We get you ready for the season, talk with Aaron Portzline of th Columbus Dispatch, and John does something with Dan's Chops. CBJ Hockey is back, and so are we!!
Thursday, March 19, 2015
DKM Hockey Podcast Episode 44
After a busy fall and winter of making babies and having babies, John and Morgan return to the studio to talk about injuries, trades, and fandom. It's kind of a dry show, but at least we're back!
Thursday, October 9, 2014
DKM Hockey Podcast: Opening Face-Off 2014-15
John and Morgan welcome Jordan Mills to the show as Joe is on the IR while he battles a throat infection. In the first segment the boys talk about the banged up CBJ, Ryan Johansen, and are surprised they forgot about the Scott Hartnell trade. In segment two the boys talk about what they think the team will do this season. In the last stanza we pick the mind of the CBJ's most loyal fan in an episode of Being John Kempovich.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
DKM Hockey Podcast: Power Hour 2014
Here it is ladies and gentlemen, a podcast episode with no redeeming value. This episode is bad. If you like long, drawn out, repetitive, drawn out long things that are repetitive and long, this podcast is for you. If you don't like long repetitive things and prefer books with large pictures and few words, this podcast is not for you. Morgan and John are completely drunk in this power hour episode. They review the Ryan Johansen contract situation again in the first segment. They debut the Bobby Mac Tribute song "Air Space Oddity" and unleash some new CBJ Garbage Pail Kids in the second segment. And in the third segment Morgan presents the first installment of CBJ Drunken History. HE IS HAMMERED. Enjoy and #SeeYouAtCannonfest
Monday, July 7, 2014
DKM Hockey Podcast: Free Agency Frenzy 2014
In a less than hilarious two man episode, John and Morgan bring you the latest from July 2nd episode featuring the aftermath of the Free Agency Frenzy. In segment one the dynamic duo discuss the Hartnell/Umberger trade. In segment two, the boys break down Restricted Free Agency and the Johansen situation. In segment three, the boys bask in their awesomeness and see how their off season predictions have gone thus far. They also go over some current event type things. Man, they need Joe back as host ASAP.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
The Lady Bling Award - ballot by Danielle Browne
We are proud to present the third and final ballot for the 2014 Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey. Our second voter is Danielle Brown known colloquially as @frickindannie from Straight Jackets. The Lady Bling Award is an annual award voted on by female bloggers. Each blogger is to vote for three players awarding each player with either a 3rd place, 2nd place, or 1st place vote. A third place vote is worth 5 points, second worth 7 points, and a first place vote is worth 10 points. We then tallied the votes and declared a winner based on the points system.
Monday, June 9, 2014
The Lady Bling Award - ballot by Lindsay Wilson
We are proud to present the second ballot for the 2014 Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey. Our second voter is Lindsay Wilson of Union and Blue. The Lady Bling Award is an annual award voted on by female bloggers. Each blogger is to vote for three players awarding each player with either a 3rd place, 2nd place, or 1st place vote. A third place vote is worth 5 points, second worth 7 points, and a first place vote is worth 10 points. We then tallied the votes and declared a winner based on the points system.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
The Lady Bling Award - ballot by Elain Schifcliff
We are proud to present the first ballot for the 2014 Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey. Our first voter is Elaine Schircliff of Faceoff violation The Lady Bling Award is an annual award voted on by female bloggers. Each blogger is to vote for three players awarding each player with either a 3rd place, 2nd place, or 1st place vote. A third place vote is worth 5 points, second worth 7 points, and a first place vote is worth 10 points. We then tallied the votes and declared a winner based on the points system.
Those voting on the Lady Bling must evaluate each player based upon the following three criteria:
Statistical Relevance - the player exhibits exceptional ability that can be qualified by some sort of verifiable statistical analysis.
Tactile Intangibles - demonstrates hockey competency without the puck and whose unique individual personality defines the team.
The Quintessential Man - a player who carries themselves as a professional, gives back to the community, or looks hawt doing it.
Got it? Good.
The first ballot we are releasing is from Elaine Schircliff of Face-Off Violation.
Third Place (5 pts)
Cam Atkinson
Statistical Relevance
Atkinson led the team in goals (7) in the month of January.
Tactile Intangibles
Life was a little rough for Atkinson around trade deadline. Not only did his buddy, Marian Gaborik, get traded but Atkinson was scratched for a few games. Instead of getting in a funk or asking to be traded, Atkinson came out swinging. Between his speed and feisty play, Atkinson was a force to be reckoned with in the playoffs.
The Quintessential Man
If we were basing the Lady Bling based solely on this category Cam Atkinson would have won because of his kind act to fans who were camping outside of Nationwide Arena to buy playoff tickets.
Second Place (7 pts)
Ryan Johansen
Statistical Relevance
During the regular season Joey led the team in points (63) and goals (33). He currently is one of three players in Blue Jackets history to score at least 30 goals in one season.
Tactile Intangibles
Just like Johnson he leaves his friendships at the door. When the Jackets played in New York this season Joey got in Dorse’s face multiple times. Dorse and Joey were once roommates in Columbus. When he’s on the ice it’s about the game and friendships don’t matter. Also, he’s usually the guy that cleans up all the pucks and laughs when he drops a bucket of them at training camp.
The Quintessential Man
Off the ice: The way Joey interacts with the Heroes for the Black Tie Affair makes every man and woman’s heart swoon.
On the ice: Filthy dangles for days. http://video.nhl.com/
First Place (10 Points)
Jack Johnson
Jack Johnson is the Teddy Roosevelt of the Jackets. He’s a vocally quiet leader but his presence is huge both on and off the ice. On a captain-less team Johnson surely stuck out as a leader.
Statistical Relevance
During the playoffs Johnson led the team in points (7) and goals (3). He may have had a rough start to the season but pulled it together when the team needed him the most.
Tactile Intangibles
After getting left off the 2014 Olympic roster Johnson used his feelings of frustration in a constructive manner. He didn’t go on every radio show and slam his current coach. He didn’t give scathing interviews to journalists. Instead, Johnson put his all into the game and helped catapult the Jackets into the Stanley Cup Playoffs. While in the playoffs he went into beast mode. Johnson knocked his close friend, Sidney Crosby, around like a rag doll and made sure Crosby didn’t get anywhere near the puck.
The Quintessential Man
Johnson does a lot of service work but keeps it to himself. He believes it’s a private, personal experience that doesn’t need to be broadcasted about the world. That’s quite the admirable quality in a person, especially a famous athlete.
Speaking of famous Jack Johnsons, how can you not love the fact that he trolls the fans of the singer Jack Johnson on twitter?
And there you have it folks, the first of three ballots for this season's Lady Bling Award. We will be presenting the next ballot on Saturday morning before Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final
| Lady Bling | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | Total |
| Jack Johnson | 10 | 10 | ||
| Ryan Johansen | 7 | 7 | ||
| Cam Atkinson | 5 | 5 |
About the author in her words: Hey guys!I grew up in Chicago, Illinois/Stow, Ohio and currently reside in Columbus. I popped out of the womb loving hockey. My first love was the Blackhawks until the Blue Jackets stole my heart. By day I’m the Business Development Assistant at USI Affinity (usiaffinity.com). By night I’m the communications intern of the Ohio AAA Blue Jackets (aaabluejackets.com). I also write for Chattin Bout Jackets (www.faceoffviolation.com/
Friday, June 6, 2014
DKM Hockey casts a Police Academy sequel
We miss Blue Jackets Hockey. This offseason is confusing to us. We don't know diddly pooh about superhero movies, snap chatting, or the video games that all you crazy kids are playing. What we do know is 80's and 90's pop culture along with some hockey stuff. In a random twitter coversation with @J_Mart77 and @Pfefferfeff we joked about casting a Police Academy movie with personalities form the CBJ twittersphere. It got our wheels turning and we thought of a little game of who would play whom. We thought of all the people we interact with on twitter and cast them in an upcoming Police Academy sequel. So we present to you the cast of the upcoming comedy hit: Police Academy: The Fifth Line
PS - It would be awesome if Horton's Horde want's to hammer out a movie poster for this...
PS - It would be awesome if Horton's Horde want's to hammer out a movie poster for this...
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Deep Thoughts by CBJ Nation: 2014 Stanley Cup Finals
Conflicted as a Columbus Blue Jackets fan on how to watch the 2014 Stanley Cup Final? Well, TJ Nocar of CBJ Nation asked if he could post his thoughts on the DKM Blog. Gladly, we agreed. Here are Deep Thoughts from the mind of the man behind @CBJ_Nation:
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
The Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey
The first annual
Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey
 |
| Special thanks to Ashley Ware for th e logo!! |
We at DKM are proud to present the first annual Lady Bling Award. Those of you familiar with the DKM crew know that we are all about cross-mojinating with the other social media peeps that focus on the Columbus Blue Jackets. We are a light-hearted bunch that choose to kick back and have fun being fans of hockey and the CBJ. In keeping with our lighthearted, sometimes inebriated, and often snarky motif, we wanted to create an NHL Award while engaging the female contributors of the blogging community. We hope we've captured the spirit of what we intended with the Lady Bling Award.
The Lad Bling Award is an annual award voted on by female bloggers. Each of our three volunteer bloggers is to vote for three players awarding each player with either a 3rd place, 2nd place, or 1st place vote. A third place vote is worth 5 points, second worth 7 points, and a first place vote is worth 10 points. We then tallied the votes and declared a winner based on the points system.
Those voting on the Lady Bling must evaluate each player based upon the following three criteria:
Statistical Relevance - the player exhibits exceptional ability that can be qualified by some sort of verifiable statistical analysis.
Tactile Intangibles - demonstrates hockey competency without the puck and whose unique individual personality helps defines the team.
The Quintessential Man - a player who carries themselves as a professional, gives back to the community, or looks hawt doing it.
Got it? Good.
We will be releasing the first ballot before Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final. The second ballot before Game 3. The final ballot will be posted before Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Final. Stay tuned for what is sure to be a great award!!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
The Lady Bling Award presented by DKM Hockey #CBJ
The annual NHL Awards.
In an era of advancing our ideology and casting aside stereotypes,
hockey fans today cling to awards named for a bunch of dudes who walked the
earth decades ago. In keeping up with
trends, the NHL modernizes an award every now and then - like renaming the
Lester B. Pearson Award to the Ted Lindsay Award. I guess bloggers below the Mason Dixon line
were confused as to why an NHL award was named after an airport in Toronto. People who have no clue can “google” Ted
Lindsay with the search results yielding much less confusion. We
here at DKM Hockey are looking to bring the NHL awards into the 21st
century. As our first foray into this
endeavor, we present the hockey world with the first annual Lady Bling Award.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Blue Jackets Anagram Roster
Inspired by The Royal Half's anagram roster, we have created one for the Columbus Blue Jackets, or as they are newly renamed, the Cumulus Bleak Objects. Apparently, you can't anagram "Nikitin Nikitin" into anything.
The Cumulus
Bleak Objects - ROSTER
|
7
|
John
JockanS "A"
|
6' 1"
|
238
|
Jan 13,
1987
|
27
|
Indianapolis,
IN, USA
|
|
27
|
Mary
Rayrun
|
6' 1"
|
208
|
Sep 27,
1993
|
20
|
Regina,
SK, CAN
|
|
6
|
6' 4"
|
223
|
Jun 16,
1986
|
27
|
Omsk, RUS
|
|
|
47
|
Turd
Platoon
|
6' 3"
|
222
|
Mar 13,
1990
|
24
|
Kingsville,
ON, CAN
|
|
58
|
Dads
radviva
|
6' 2"
|
219
|
Oct 22,
1990
|
23
|
St.
Hyacinthe, QC, CAN
|
|
15
|
Zilch
Stunk
|
6' 1"
|
203
|
Aug 25,
1982
|
31
|
Strasbourg,
SK, CAN
|
|
51
|
Nudity
forte
|
6' 2"
|
212
|
Jul 19,
1983
|
30
|
Izhevsk,
RUS
|
|
21
|
Jasmine
sew-kiwis
|
5' 11"
|
203
|
Feb 21,
1984
|
30
|
Canton,
MI, USA
|
|
42
|
Marina
motives
|
6' 4"
|
198
|
May 24,
1988
|
25
|
Yaroslavl,
RUS
|
|
13
|
Satanic
Monk
|
5' 8"
|
174
|
Jun 5,
1989
|
24
|
Riverside,
CT, USA
|
|
40
|
Drab
jello "A"
|
6' 3"
|
214
|
May 13,
1986
|
27
|
Charlotte,
NC, USA
|
|
11
|
Carl
Vatmett
|
5' 11"
|
187
|
Dec 24,
1989
|
24
|
Brandon,
MB, CAN
|
|
14
|
Beau
LAMcoke
|
6' 1"
|
202
|
Feb 18,
1986
|
28
|
Meadow
Lake, SK, CAN
|
|
17
|
Sordid
bunny-bank "A"
|
6' 2"
|
216
|
Apr 29,
1986
|
28
|
Anchorage,
AK, USA
|
|
71
|
LOCKING
INFO
|
6' 0"
|
210
|
Oct 31,
1987
|
26
|
Buffalo,
NY, USA
|
|
23
|
Fart
tinmatt
|
6' 0"
|
205
|
Jan 3,
1988
|
26
|
Edmonton,
AB, CAN
|
|
8
|
Hoho tarntann
|
6' 2"
|
229
|
May 29,
1985
|
28
|
Welland,
ON, CAN
|
|
38
|
Boner Jeonne
|
6' 2"
|
208
|
Jun 15,
1993
|
20
|
Dorchester,
ON, CAN
|
|
19
|
Johnny
arenas
|
6' 3"
|
223
|
Jul 31,
1992
|
21
|
Vancouver,
BC, CAN
|
|
55
|
Mute
Stalker "A"
|
5' 10"
|
199
|
Feb 4,
1985
|
29
|
Elk
Point, AB, CAN
|
|
24
|
Mike
Crazed knee
|
5' 11"
|
181
|
Jun 11,
1981
|
32
|
Sudbury,
ON, CAN
|
|
26
|
Poop
cryter
|
6' 0"
|
185
|
Jul 25,
1989
|
24
|
Grosse
Pointe Woods, MI, USA
|
|
18
|
Berm
jurrgen
|
6' 2"
|
214
|
May 3,
1982
|
32
|
Pittsburgh,
PA, USA
|
|
72
|
BOOBY KISSVERGER
|
6' 2"
|
182
|
Sep 20,
1988
|
25
|
Novokuznetsk,
RUS
|
|
31
|
Scrunchy
timeline
|
6' 3"
|
205
|
May 23,
1983
|
30
|
London,
ON, CAN
|
Head Coach : Didst Orchard
General Manager: Karaoke
Ninja Elm
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