We miss Blue Jackets Hockey. This offseason is confusing to us. We don't know diddly pooh about superhero movies, snap chatting, or the video games that all you crazy kids are playing. What we do know is 80's and 90's pop culture along with some hockey stuff. In a random twitter coversation with @J_Mart77 and @Pfefferfeff we joked about casting a Police Academy movie with personalities form the CBJ twittersphere. It got our wheels turning and we thought of a little game of who would play whom. We thought of all the people we interact with on twitter and cast them in an upcoming Police Academy sequel. So we present to you the cast of the upcoming comedy hit: Police Academy: The Fifth Line
PS - It would be awesome if Horton's Horde want's to hammer out a movie poster for this...
Commandant Lessard: as played by Tom Felrath aka @DarkBlueJacket. Endeared by his readers, tolerated by the institution, opponent of irrational opposing voices. Tom is a lovable, kind-hearted guy who helped foster several people in CBJ social media today.
Commissioner Hurst: as played by Greg May aka @Gregin120. Another old-timer of the CBJ social media realm. In the movies Hurst is a bit of a sourpuss and Greg is not one at all. But, we needed a cool dude who happened to be a grey beard and thought Greg would be a wonderful fit.
Eugene Tackleberry - this one was really tough because there are so many good candidates. But Matt Garrett aka @Matt44G, you're our Tackleberry! You can also be our Huckleberry. Oooo, another great blog post, but we digress...
Carey Mahoney - as played by DKM Hockey. The character is a perfect composite of the three of us. The way we interact with the fan base and the team itself is pretty much spot on with the character in the movies. Actually, the perfect composite of DKM Hockey would be Tony Stark. Ok, we do know the Iron Man 1 and 2 movies, the Chris Nolan Batmans, and the Tim Burton Batmans. Oh, and Christopher Reeves is Superman. Anyways, for this gag we are Mahoney.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: as played by Mark Erickson aka @RedditCBJ. Mark is a pretty good dude and avid CBJer, but is known to get fired up from time to time. Even before this idea of casting a Police Academy movie with CBJ peeps, we have often imagined him yelling "Move it! Move it! Move it!" to people on twitter through a bullhorn.
Carl Proctor - as played by TJ Nocar aka @CBJ_Nation. Of all the people we know in the CBJ twitterverse, TJ is the only one who could honestly AND believably deliver the line, "Mahoney said this place has the best salad bar in town." Cue the Blue Oyster tango music...
Zed McGlunk: as played by Brett Ireland aka @RockManHalo. Seriously, if we have to explain why this is so awesome we're going to make @RedditCBJ explain it to you through a bullhorn. This is perfect. Brett's tweets, game in one picture, and other twitter gems fit the lovable anarchist role of Zed.
House Conklin: as played by Kevin Schroeder aka @kschroeder1720. Two words: Belly Love.
Carl Sweetchuck: as played by Matt aka @zekebud. Matt shares his love of advanced stats much the way we imagine Sweetchuck would in the Police Academy movies. Mahoney picks on Sweetchuck about the advanced stats on occasion, but in the end respects the work he does. Sweetchuck also has good taste in music.
Lavar Jones: as played by Matt Pfeffer of The CBJ Artillery aka @Pfefferfeff. Matt makes funny noises, Jones makes funny noises. This works on so many levels!
Moses Hightower: as played by Jacket Jim of Boone's Goone's aka @J_Mart77. Racial differences notwithstanding, Jim is our Hightower. Strong, imposing, always looking to do the right thing. Jim will crack some skull and crack a smile too!
Laverne Hooks: as played by Elaine Schircliff aka @imaraindancer. Once Hooks gets her confidence up, there's nothing she can't do!
Debbie Callahan: as played by Libby aka @littlelibbs. Assertive, aggressive, and always quick with the tongue-in-cheek jokes. Libbs is the more modernized version of Callahan. Littlelibbs has seen more hockey games than most of twitter combined.
Douglas and Violet Fackler: as played by Alison and Steve Lukan aka @AlisonL and @Dutchman1350. The married couple on the police force is the married couple active in social media. The dialogue between the two lovebirds practically writes itself! Oh, and sorry for the horrid pic of Violet, it's like one of three that exists on the internet.
Officer Kate Stratton: as played by Beth Hunt aka @thebethjane. Officer Kate loves her some CBJ hockey from way down in Miami, FL. Officer Kate was played by Janet Jones-Gretzky in Police Academy 5. Yes, we said Janet Jones-GRETZKY.
First and foremost, this is not a popularity contest. This is a feeble attempt to cast a movie with people on twitter we interact with. There are people we hang out with all the time that aren't on this list. There are people who subtweet the heck out of other people that are on this list. It's a cast of characters based on personalities that we know and feel most social media members will know of them too. If you're not on here it's not because we don't think you're cool enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment